13 Jan

Whelp ya’ll, guess what I did it! I am 365 DAYS SOBER, 1 YEAR CLEAN! Wow! Words can not express how I am feeling! I accomplished the one thing I never thought possible! I have had so many emotions this past year! I never wanted to be the person I was, I couldn’t stop, I hated hurting the people I loved! But God showed me I was worth recovery. I have healed both mentally and physically, I gamed my strength back. It was through his spirit, I gained my freedom. Freedom to struggle and wrestle through what I didn’t understand, Freedom to cry out with questions I didn’t understand, and not made to feel guilty for asking them. Getting help wasn’t easy. My oldest kiddos have been my rock! My heroes! They have encouraged me and have listened to fears, and have gained an understanding of addiction. They have learned forgiveness and compassion. They have taught me forgiveness and unconditional love. G.S. who moved a stranger into her home and game security, has shown me what a true child of God is. Her faith has guided me through the ups and downs and has shown me what kind of person I want to be. Along with her family who also have been a blessing to me, have shown me love, acceptance and faithfulness. I have learned so much from them. Her family along with my church have shown me what acceptance means. They have accepted me for who I am, they love me for my faults and lift me when I am about to break. No judgement, only encouragement. When I came to church, and to this family I didn’t have much to offer, other than problems, they weren’t concerned about it. They love me despite being a hot mess. They have shown me the power of prayer, they have laid hands on me and prayed and asked God to heal me. I have had so much support, and have made lasting friendships through this journey. I want to thank everyone for all the support and for letting me share my journey with you. That wasn’t easy, but I know that God had a hand in it! I have grown so much, but one thing I know is I can do so much better, I am made for more.  When I gained the courage to spill out my sins, I wasn’t judged. I was embraced. I now have the freedom to admit I don’t have it all together. I cannot tell anyone that I will remain sober, I don’t know what is going to happen, but I can tell ya’ll, I want to stay clean. And I have God guiding me every step.

Picture by Ray Hennessy/Unsplash

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